I boldly hit my mid century mark on May 9, 2009. Getting more than you have bargained for, is the greatest gift anybody could have. I definitely made a lot of mistakes along the way. I have extracted every lesson I have learned from making these mistakes.
Now, I could look back and see how I made my pivot point and turned my life around. Although my sadness was not outwardly manifested, I felt the emptiness and void. There was a disconnect. I just went through the motions. After endless pondering, I felt a sensory overload. I finally had the courage to reflect on my past and forgive myself.
I thought about my two boys who always played center stage in my life. My life revolved around them. I need to put my life together. I have to move on and get out of the rut. This is what set me free.
I broke away from the tyranny of old thinking. Thanks to Kuhn who gave meaning to the term, paradigm shift. It is a shift, away from the pre-conceived ideas and opinions, a change of mindset. I know I have to start somewhere, somehow. I did not want to be part of the someday syndrome. I have to act now! So I cleared everything off my plate, and began on a new slate. I was no longer afraid to go the extra mile and get out of my comfort zone. I believed we can chose our own path in life.
That's when the old maxim kicked in, and made sense. "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
I seized the day, grabbed every opportunity, went back to school and stopped looking for answers. Leaving all the toxic garbage behind, I started to have a sense of purpose. I realized the value of what I already have.
Now, my oldest son garnered his MBA degree and landed a very rewarding job. My youngest is now a lawyer. They both chose wonderful women to be their partners. I became more confident in my abilities. Although I grew stronger, I noticed a kinder nature. I do not carry any anger or resentment. I am a totally different person. I have become goal oriented, thus our quality of life improved. Everything else followed. Positive energy started to flow.
Looking back through the years, I can now laugh at all the mistakes I have created. These mistakes were the same reason I have succeeded in my career and in my personal life. Inevitably, we come across some obstacles along the way. There are still a lot of things I want to do, but I know my life is getting shorter. Afterall, the meaning of life is only as good as what you give it.
I love the gracefulness of being 50.
